Category: Road Noise

This week, I sat down for the sales conference calls from Ford and Chrysler. How are things, you ask, or don’t, as the case may be? Well, they’re both down about 35 percent. On the bright side, no one cried on the phone.

“Run for your lives! The economy’s collapsing!”

Another week, another Road Noise brainstorming session with my friend who doesn’t even own a car.
“I was thinking of doing something about how much my nephew loves his little toy cars,” I IM’d my Cars-Are-a-Blight-On-the-Landscape collaborator.
His reply follows, verbatim:
Oh man, I LOVED toy cars as a kid, especially the micro-machine ones you could open and put other EVEN TINIER cars into! And those ones that came with a little credit card shaped bit of plastic that you could unfold and make a little landscape for your car to drive around on!
Toy cars it is, then.


You go, girl!

Another week, another Road Noise brainstorming session with my friend who doesn’t even own a car.
“I was thinking of doing something about how much my nephew loves his little toy cars,” I IM’d my Cars-Are-a-Blight-On-the-Landscape collaborator.
His reply follows, verbatim:
Oh man, I LOVED toy cars as a kid, especially the micro-machine ones you could open and put other EVEN TINIER cars into! And those ones that came with a little credit card shaped bit of plastic that you could unfold and make a little landscape for your car to drive around on!
Toy cars it is, then.


You go, girl!

There are a bunch of ways to kill a man at the Ford Allen Park Test Labs. Exposure in the cold room, dehydration in the hot room, altitude sickness in the pressure room, boredom in the strange little parking lot simulator shed. And that’s just the stuff I can come up with off the top of my head.
Oh, and you could run someone down with the new F-150, I guess, if your imagination was lacking for some reason.


F-150 stalks its prey from the cover of the tall grass

Another day, another mess of press releases clogging the inbox here at Vehicle Voice World Internet Headquarters and Half-Price Seafood Buffet.
Let’s see…Corporate community outreach: I’ll pass. Buy 14 tires, get the 15th free: To the Recycle Bin! Exciting new car air freshener: This isn’t news.
Oooh, here’s one: “GM launches new site to clarify misconceptions about the company.” Sounds like fun; let’s roll.

This is gonna be like Mythbusters, but without the explosions or the entertainment.

Another day, another mess of press releases clogging the inbox here at Vehicle Voice World Internet Headquarters and Half-Price Seafood Buffet.
Let’s see…Corporate community outreach: I’ll pass. Buy 14 tires, get the 15th free: To the Recycle Bin! Exciting new car air freshener: This isn’t news.
Oooh, here’s one: “GM launches new site to clarify misconceptions about the company.” Sounds like fun; let’s roll.

This is gonna be like Mythbusters, but without the explosions or the entertainment.

Two hours out of every day – one in the morning, and one in the evening – I drive the highways of this great country. It’s a fascinating world out there, full of interesting sights, breathtaking landscapes and novel personalities, all available to take in if you know where to look.
It gets boring after about 20 minutes.

For hours and hours and hours.

A lot of press releases cross my desk here at Vehicle Voice World Internet Headquarters R Us, and over the past few weeks, I’ve seen several headlined with variations on “10 Best Cars for Back to School!”
Wow. My parents got pretty worked up when they just had to lay down a hundred bucks for a graphic calculator; the concept of a back-to-school car probably would have sent my dad into a coma.

In my day, we rode the cheese. And we liked it. You kids get off my lawn!