On one hand, it’s the best idea in human history: Dad drives the minivan, and while little Pashley is engrossed in her Dora DVDs, mom can e-mail her sister about how ill-advised this trip is, Junior can watch a panda get hit in the junk on YouTube, and Sister can do whatever it is those damn kids do in their Facespaces or Mybooks or what have you.
On the other hand, it’s the Internet in the car. Well, there’s a brilliant plan with absolutely no flaws, don’t you think?
”DSL? Where we’re going, we don’t need DSL.”
Hokay, so. We’re talking about hybrids this week here at the VehicleVoice Interntronic Webblargh. Saving gas (and gas money) is a subject near and dear to my heart, as the more patient and visionary among you may have gathered from last week’s slightly garbled missive. This time around, let’s talk about the two-mode hybrid system that George liked so much on the Yukon earlier this week. Development of this particular system was a joint project between BMW, General Motors, Daimler, and Chrysler.
That guy from Futurama approves
Hey, you know what I’m totally not sick of hearing about? High gas prices. Let’s talk about that.
A highly scientific poll conducted by calling my friend Doug and asking him, “Hey, who do you think has more screen time in Iron Man: Jeff Bridges or the Audi logo?” determined recently that, yeah, there might be some product placement at work in the entertainment industry.
The star of Iron Man. Also pictured: Guy in a robot suit.
This is fun, right? We’re having fun!
Well, here we are in the World of Tomorrow. The food pills and flying cars are some ways off, but our brave boys in the trenches of science have figured out how to harness those spastic blinky necklaces (pictured)
issued by law to every obnoxious child at every fireworks display and use their power for good. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, the LED headlamp
The 2009 Cadillac Escalade Platinum blinds you with science
It’s been proven, through complicated, peer-reviewed studies chock-full of science (I’m not going to link to them. Let’s be realistic — you weren’t going to read them anyway) that people who think they’re really good at something turn out to be not-so-great at it in reality.
You see this a lot in the audition rounds of American Idol
: People who think – nay, know
— that they’re the finest vocalists ever to come out of Peoria or Podunk or Sacramento or wherever. And then they sing and we all have a good laugh and nobody gets hurt, except for the idiot singer, who doesn’t count.
However, you also see this phenomenon in effect in other, not-so-harmless situations. For instance, I’ve always thought I’m a pretty good driver.
I remember the call like it came just last week, because it did.
“Katrina, I have a new car.”
“It…it has a stick shift.”
“You don’t understand! I don’t know how to drive a stick. I need you to teach me.”
“You’ve made me a very happy woman, grasshopper.”
In the spirit of up-to-the-minute analysis that separates the good blogs from the great ones, I hereby present a short essay on hybrids and automotive environmentalism in honor of Earth Day … which was three days ago.
Well, it’s the thought that counts.